Monday, August 07, 2006

First of all, you feel bored easily during the weekends when you are no longer in your schooling life. No homework, no project researches, no revisions. You just get plainly bored during the Saturdays and Sundays. When you are in working life, you do not have to bring your work home.

I cannot wait for the 9th of August, not because I am enthusiastic to celebrate Singapore’s 41st birthday. To be frank, I don’t give a damn even if our country turns 100. I simply require that one-day break to recuperate my brain cells and body energy. I am TOTALLY DRAINED.

Dad is going to start his first session of treatment this coming Friday. I really wish that he could beat it. I did not accompany my parents to the church yesterday but ashamedly, I did not feel any guilt. Maybe just a little discomfort, but definitely not guilty. I started questioning myself – am I that bad? Yet when my Christian Aunt called to look for my parents, it felt as though I have done something wrong.

I have gained weight since the past few months. Looking into the mess I have gotten myself into, I think I had better start to discipline myself, physically and mentally. Physically as in, to watch out for the things I eat, the way I carry out my duties and the words I say. Mentally as in, the way I think. When you get both the physical and the mental part correct, you have found the right attitude.

Last Friday I met up with Siew wen. I missed her a lot. We watched Dragon Tiger Gate and yes! I love Shawn’s character in the movie! (Ooh well, I will skip this part cos I am lazy to touch on the movie.) During that morning, I was totally drained off the moment I woke up. I wondered how I am going to ‘survive’ during work that it frightened me to think I will be meeting a friend during the evening. It was like there were things you wanted to accomplish but your were deprived of the energy. Then a miracle descended. I suddenly felt so hyperactive (without any dose of caffeine of steroids!) the moment I stepped into the office that morning! Thank God and I was like, I could not wait for the day to end so I could meet Siew wen. And my elevated level of gusto fired all the way till late in the night hence, making the outing with my friend an enjoyable one. So you see, miracles do exist when you believe in them.

Jay’s new album is coming out this September! Thinking back, many of his fans have actually grown up listening to his music, like he has implanted his influence in many of us since long ago. I started listening to his songs when I was in Secondary 3 all the way to the O’Levels, until I graduated from LYSS and entered TP, until the day I got my diploma and until now, when I have finally stepped into the society. Surprising how fast time passed.

I have been crazily collecting voodoos for the past 2 months. For some anonymous reason, they have attracted me to own them. Now I have about 20 of them in my room – imagine the $$$ I have spent! Honestly, looking at them at night freaks me out. I imagine them playing police and thieves on my desk when I am sleeping at night. I pictured them having a game hide and seek when no one’s around.

Scary.

... seen through it and moved on.