Saturday, October 29, 2005

The last time I blog? Ages ago… ever since the start of the SIP, I don’t seem to have time even for myself. The student logbook is just like my manual diary when you find not time to update the real blog. It contains the salty tears, the joy, the stress, the anxiety, the ‘i-cannot-take-it-but-i-don’t –want-to-give-up-thought’, the numerous mistakes I have made, the times of little contentment, the unbearable loneliness, how I miss school and friends, the depressing times, the ups and downs, how time flies yet seems to be dragging its feet too … everything that happened during the mere one month are more than mere words could describe and currently, I’m too lazy to pen down my thoughts and encounters during the internship. All I can say is, school is indeed a wonderful place. Think I have matured a lot through the pressure this internship is bringing me.

This internship looked as though it is the first genuine trial that life is putting me through. As in, you are so near the edge of tension you don’t know what to do; you feel like crying everyday, you are lost, rejected.

But something within you just urges to move on bravely and when you overcome your fears bit by bit, you see that the light gets nearing. Many times I’m lost but many times too, God would show the way out (even when I have not been praying recently), and that is one of the many reasons why surrendering is not going to be the option.

I have learnt to treasure things around me, especially when days passed in haste nevertheless like a maze where you bumped into many wrong turns. Sundays become the only day I can get to spend time with my family and other than that, friends. It is always comforting to be surrounded by people who care and who pushes you up when you are falling.

Yesterday was the best moment in the midst of this hectic SIP. You don’t always get friends who tried their best to gather together despite the fatigue after a day’s of hard work. I couldn’t wait to get out of the office to meet them at Raffles. Seeing Nuraini, Shikin and Nisha just feel like out of the blue, all the worries and desolation seemed so distance, like they were thrown into a remote place, somewhere at the furthest end of your mind.

Nuraini, Nisha and Shikin looked somewhat different but again, still the same ones I know.. argh.. I don’t know how to describe. We were still not keen on going back after the KFC feast hence, hanged around at star bucks.

Haha! I’m going to Queenstown Remand Prison this coming Monday!! Finally!! Nisha has been there so many times! It got to be a unique thrilling experience.

Jay’s new songs are fantastic!! They bring out a different feeling compared to his previous music. Still his style, but more to look forward to! Can’t wait to collect my November’s Chopin!

... seen through it and moved on.