> Shrouded in darkness;

~~Sunday, February 27, 2005~~

2/27/2005 10:20:00 PM

My sister is driving me nuts this weekends. Guess everyone around is under extreme pressure we tend to act irrationally. All thanks to my sis who made a huge mess out of the SG idol postie, its time I take it down. Then she cut off Jay’s head and pasted it on Taufik’s. Manipulation. Then she pasted the lime giant poster of Taufik’s (head cover by Jay’s) in my room.

What to do?

She’s my sis.

Haha.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Saturday, February 26, 2005~~

2/26/2005 06:31:00 PM

I don’t think I am a clown nor am I a magician. I can’t possibly change myself to please others or put on a fake mask. When I face people, I want to look at them with the most honest side of me. No matter what, I must never lost myself and I am glad there are people around me who accept me for who I am.

On the other hand, I accept them the way they are and I am grateful they open their true selves to me instead of treating me with fakeness.

Thanks for being such great companions.

I am gradually learning to accept the differences in us and learning to appreciate it.

Life is beautiful when you learn to look things on the brighter perspective.

... seen through it and moved on.

2/26/2005 06:30:00 PM

I think I have eaten too much pasta and had an overdose of cheese. Now I feel like vomiting. Hadn’t been feeling physically good these days due to the weather and inhaling too much baygon. Nauseous. Headaches keep on bothering me like I have brain cancer. Touchwood.

Yet emotionally, this week has been fulfilling and full of joy. All presentations had come to an end. Feeling glad about it but at the same time, sad. I hope I get to work with nice group members next semester too. ^^,

Had completed the creative writing story and it came up to 29 pages. Now the tutor has new instructions that the story must not exceed 1000 words which is about 3 pages. WTH. Goanna have trouble reducing it to 3 pages.

Regretted not listening to my mum. I used all force to remove the studs off my ears only to have a hard time putting it back. Then my earlobes swelled due to too much physical ‘abuse’ but I am glad it’s better now. Shall be an obedient daughter from now onwards. Luckily mum was there to help me put the studs back. I guess some things just can’t be rush. I need to wait longer.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Thursday, February 24, 2005~~

2/24/2005 11:21:00 PM

These few days have been demanding and hectic with all projects and presentations. Nevertheless, I felt rather happy in the midst of stress. Its very rarely one can still feel joy when he is under pressure. I think the key factor here is the sense of fulfillment. I know I will learn something from these so it doesn’t matter that I have to dedicate a lot of time and commitment to school work.

On the other hand, the main issue is the people we are working with. And yes, its kind of fun and fulfilling working with my current group members. I can’t remember a day where I attend project meetings with a sulky face. Nor do I recall not laughing like mad during discussions. People around me are kind and those nasty ones are far away. They better not near me or I will kick their asses.

I still think Jay looks better with Jolin. Why Pei Cen? Why? Nah, its not my business anyway. Haha. Hey there if you disagree with me, just shut the bloody hell up. I don’t expect you to respect my opinion and in return, I am glad to tell you I don’t respect yours either. Double J’s still the best pairing other than EG. Case close and those who disagree shut up.

I was listening to ‘Jue Jiang’ by Mayday and I am inspired by that song. I do feel the lyrics are realistic and encouraging enough to motivate me in life. - ‘I am not scared of the countless obstacles ahead but my greatest fear would be self-surrender.’ .. ‘I can be disappointed but I must never lose hope.’ .. How true these actually are… ^^,

CDs selling at $7 at the pasar album nearby. Shall go grab a couple of albums these weekends. Can’t believe music are getting cheaper these days moreover they are original one. Difference is, those CDs are imported from China.

Those stupid mosquitoes in my house are making me crazy. I get bitten. Duh, they have to pay a price for sucking my blood like its free of charge. Everyday, my Dad kills a lot with that mosquito racket whatever. The Baygon seem to be useless. The smell of it makes me want to puke and I feel like fainting. But still, those mosquitoes still fly around.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Monday, February 21, 2005~~

2/21/2005 09:44:00 AM

The thing I can’t stand about kids is their noisiness. But hey, a kid won’t be one if he’s quiet. Sometimes, I see adults complaining how kids are a hassle and how they can’t tolerate their childish nonsense. Then again, weren’t they once kids?

What the hack.

Children are so cute, adorable and naïve. Their innocence simply makes my day despite how playful they can get.

Children are never evil. They are at the most, just naughty.

But they are never evil. Sometimes, they seem to have bigger hearts than adults. They can forgive and they can forget.

I finally figured out. If my dream of being a writer fails, I can set up a child care centre. To all my friends, do put your children under my care in future! 100% reliable. No GST and 100% your children will be happy LOL.

Children rocks!! ^^,

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Sunday, February 20, 2005~~

2/20/2005 07:13:00 PM

Family law.. Family law… custody.. Daphne.. Harish.. Ancillary matters.. Maintenance.. Family law.. Wendy Yu.. Christina whatever.. Injunction.. Full and frank disclosure.. Family law.. Adultery.. Janice.. Mediation.. Family Law…

Accounts.. Accounts.. Cash flow statements… Accounts.. Profit & loss statement.. Accounts.. Operating expenses… share premium.. Accounts.. Accounts.. Shares capital.. Authorized capital.. Accounts.. Inflows.. Outflows.. Net profit before tax.. Net profit after tax.. Depreciation.. Fees income.. Company.. Sole proprietorship ..accounts .. Garret Whatever Teo.. Accounts.. Accounts..

Things to do:
Family law
Accounts revision
OB presentation
Tidy room
Finish reading ‘Blue Dahlia’
SMILE
SMILE
LAUGH

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Saturday, February 19, 2005~~

2/19/2005 11:55:00 PM

Have been feeling rather moody these days due to numerous stuffs which goes on in the list of stress. Even listening to my favorite songs and doing things I like didn’t make me any better. The agonizing part would be even if I felt like crying, my eyes were dry from tears. Too many fears and doubts I supposed. Not only do I feel hesitant about the environment I am in, I’m also sure I need to have more confidence in myself.

Terrible headache now after the afternoon outing to bugis to shop for some formal wears. Should have spent this today at home to revise my accounts and touch on some project. But due to circumstances, I was forced to make a trip to town area - I won’t want to buy formal clothings at the very last minute again. At this point of time, I can’t afford last minute nonsense. But count myself lucky as I managed to get what I want without much hassle.

The idea of procrastinating sucks. Because at the end of the day, you would realize you have been neglecting your work and only freak out when they accumulated themselves till they reach the height of Mount Everest. Despite that, I never learn my lesson and the idea of procrastinating still remains. I guess almost everyone does that - procrastination. As long as I mange to complete everything before the deadlines, I will be okay.

Officially on the verge of bankruptcy now. Had been spending money again today. Just couldn’t control my itchy hands. But it doesn’t matter as long as its spending my own money and purchasing things that are worth it to me. I can’t believe that Jay’s new book costs less than twenty dollars. I expected it to be somewhere around twenty-five to thirty and when I heard that the cost is $18.40, I was sort of surprised. Yay! Another collection on Jay! Guess I can only really read it when I am really free from school work.

I am insane, I think. For some mad reasons I couldn’t comprehend, I actually bought JJ’s first album. Yet counting on the fact he is a local talent, I ought to show support. Well, at least he CAN sing and compose, though not as ‘powerful’ as Jay. Hiak. Biased me. So? Do you have any freaking problem?

My sis just watched ‘Hide & Seek’ yesterday. She told me the movie was rather scary and bet that I would be squeezing my eyes shut and sticking my index fingers in my ears if I ever watched it. Since she had unintentionally revealed the ending to me, that suspense was gone and there goes my interest to watch it too.

For now, I would be eternally grateful if I could pull through next week.

Father in heaven, please watch over everyone of us and may things run smoothly. Amen.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Wednesday, February 16, 2005~~

2/16/2005 10:36:00 AM

There is supposed to be no lessons for me today. Its supposed to be a day off from that dammed school. But look what my Fam Law lecturer has done? Because of her, I have to get my ass to school just to collect my report assignment whatever shit. >.<

Complaining isn’t the way out - Yes I know that. Shall look on the brighter side. Maybe I would learn something later. Maybe.

Have the urge to kill the stupid sun. Its so bloody damn hot these days!! Just exactly how many times do I have to bathe? Tsk.

I can’t wait to step into Kinokuniya bookstore. I am dying for a copy of Jay’s ‘D Diao De Hua Li’. I want to read about his life ^^,

And here comes the suspenseful cum horror ‘Hide & Seek’. For some mad reasons despite my fear against horror movies, I’m intrigued to give this movie a try. Granted, I am asking for it. I must be tired of peaceful, fearless nights I am dying for some fear. The other day while I was at the cinema, I chanced upon the movie’s poster - looks rather scary. Gave me all the creeps.

As my soul gets darker (okay, this often happens when there are too many project deadlines to meet), I am tempted to draft out a story - a dark tale. A story which tells of nothing but darkness and all those sadistic stuffs. Things like cults, satan, devil.. Blah blah blah.

I hope Jesus forgives me.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Sunday, February 13, 2005~~

2/13/2005 02:40:00 PM

Haha I’m back!! Finally after MIA for so many days, I’m finally back to blog.. Bleahzz.. Feeling lazy to note down about life as many things happened during the CNY week.. I have a fun time enjoying myself but at the same time, sianzz.. My mind is in chaos now.. So this entry is going to be CHAOTIC and vague.

During the CNY eve, my family went over to two places for the reunion dinner. At my father’s side, I wasn’t feeling 100% comfortable.. Its like something’s tying me down.. Perhaps, I ain’t that close to relatives on my father’s side.. The steamboat there keke.. Soup taste SWEET!! Granted, my Ah Ma put 3 cubes of sugar.. Each the size of an ice cube.. But food was delicious…

Next, we dropped by at my mother’s side place.. Cool.. Steamboating there was much better.. Can eat till we drop.. ^^, … On the first day of CNY as usual, we went dropping by our relatives’ house.. I gambled blackjacks with my aunts and cousins and I lose. During the second day, we have guests in the house and all sort of shiat lol.. Adults were singing hokkien karaoke after the steamboat session and its so damn noisy.. And Omg!! This year isn’t my luck.. I lose money playing blackjack again!! Shall not play anymore!!

For as long as I could remember, I seem to be having steamboat for dinner these few days and I think I am burning my throat.. Nevertheless, the best thing about CNY besides steamboat is Ang Pows!! WAHAHA!~!

I remembered one of my Aunties asking me about my plans after graduating from TP. I do know what I want to do but I was too afraid to tell.. Instead, I lied that I have no idea for my future. She told me its better to plan ahead and know what I want in life. I think she makes perfect sense.

During Friday, Shikin, Nisha, Huda, Nuraini and Noreen came over to my house to visit.. Lol.. It was fun.. And it’s the first time I actually have all Malay friends coming over to my house, which is sort of special.. Lol.. Soon after.. My family went to watch ‘Seoul Raiders’ during evening time.. That movie was great, even better than Tokyo Raiders.. I remembered laughing till my stomach pain at one scene of the movie.. =) Tony Leung rocks.. he looks so young ^^,

God, I have no mood to do any school work.. Brain is all about new year mood..

Yay!! I’m so proud of myself.. I finally have the full collection of all Jay’s CDs and VCDs lol!! Finally managed to buy his ‘The One Concert CD and MV’ yesterday!! I’m gonna design a box and created a ‘Jay Chou’ corner in my room LOL I’m Mad!!

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Tuesday, February 08, 2005~~

2/08/2005 01:07:00 AM

Woohoo~ Finally have the courage to pierce my ears again.. Its not painful this time round. Lol… Thanks Nuraini for accompanying me and giving me moral support together with your delifrance garlic bread. ^^, Also thanks for the ‘green pao’ you bought from Popular (you know what I mean..) !

Was supposed to help me parents with the spring cleaning when I returned home just now. We need to clean up the whole house before reunion dinner because tidying your house on the day of CNY isn’t auspicious, What the heck.. But I believe it anyway. Yet instead of helping, I was too exhausted I actually slept all the way till 9 pm. Luckily I had tidied and cleaned up my room during the mid-sem break. Lalala.. I have lesser chores now.

Alamak.. How could I live for a day with Jay’s music? Its like I need a dosage of his songs daily or I would feel odd. Can’t be help, this guy is really a rare cum real talent.. ^^, It irritating to repeat but I honestly think all his 10 latest MVs rocks.. Nevermind.. I guess Kareen can get what I mean.. right? Lol. I especially like his Ge Qian MV!! =)

Too tired now.. Huimin, if you were reading this now, A-do might be coming to my Granny’s place for the reunion dinner. Hee… =)

Happy CNY to everyone!! ^^,

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Sunday, February 06, 2005~~

2/06/2005 02:32:00 AM

At first, I really regretted buying the ‘Incomparable to Jay Chou’ concert vcd. After watching the first disc, I was disillusioned by the fact that the image quality isn’t that good, no sub titles and too little close ups of Jay.

WTH… my mind went on grumbling and for the first time in my life I actually regretted buying Jay’s stuffs!! Yewwwww!!!! How can this be??!!!

But then it was a whole different story after I watched disc 2 and 3 this morning. Its actually not that bad. There’s more close ups of Jay!! I think the smile of his grandmother looks a little like my granny!! Haha even my sis shares the same sentiments. Okay so hereby I take back my words that I regretted buying the concert vcd. LOL.. Now, I think it rocks!! ^^,

Was super very, ultra very, bloody very, extremely very surprised and happy to bump into Siew wen last evening at white sands CD-Rama. I was actually at the shopping centre with my mom after school to buy CNY stuffs. Then tata!! My sis called and told me the great news about the release of Jay’s concert vcd. Unable to wait for a few more days, I proceeded to CD-Rama to purchase the vcd and that’s when I met Siew wen lol.. Actually she was the one who spotted me first.

That feeling was indescribable but altogether, it was like I felt so elated seeing a friend and the both of us couldn’t stop laughing at this coincidence.

LOL.. Was actually planning to go to CD-Rama first before meeting my mom. But for some odd reasons I decided to meet my mom first to shop for stuffs. Guess its God’s will. LOL.. If I had gone to CD-Rama first, I wouldn’t have met Siew wen!! ^^,

Thank you Jesus!! =)

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Friday, February 04, 2005~~

2/04/2005 04:44:00 PM

The girl cried when she knew she wouldn’t make it to the place she wanted to go. Her friends were already miles in front of her, heading toward their destination. Now, she was all alone with a sprained leg.

She was left all alone to die…
She was left in the dark to rot…
She couldn’t reach out to untie
That impasse of the awful knot…

Gritting her teeth she got up her feet…
Only to find herself falling back…
In darkness was no one she could meet…
Her burden augmented to a pack...

Death was the only word that she fear…
Yet it was something she can’t refuse…
In stillness were voices she can’t hear…
And her misery failed to defuse…

PS: I know this poem sucks but that’s the best I could come up with. Just something that I thought can reflect my life.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Tuesday, February 01, 2005~~

2/01/2005 11:12:00 PM

I made a quiz entitled 'how well do you know sotong emilyn?'

Check it out!!

Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

... seen through it and moved on.