"You're forever the same. Come on, its time you change yourself." people once told me that.

Do I have to change to be your friend?

Or do I change for goodness sake of staying as your friend?

Or do you want me to change for the welfare of myself?

Or are you tired of the way I am now?

Or do you find the current me an eyesore that you thought would be summoned right by your side upon your command?

How does it matters if i change, be it my looks or character affect our friendship?

Is my identity as your friend endorsed only if i change myself to be someone i am not or to someone i don't like?

You might not be mouth fouling about me in front of me.

Yet I am aware you're doing this behind my back.

Ouch.

Maybe your joke about me is a trival contribution to your laughter.

But its a major upset to my tears.

Perhaps you wouldn't thought it could be that serious. Afterall, its only a comment that ends with a shrug. But to me, i don't find it appealing. Call me sensitive call me over-reacting. I don't care.

Still, I'd like to ask:

Do you be-friend me for who i am in the first place or do you make friends with me for what i am?

What if i change one day to the worse, will i still be ceritified to address you as my friend?

Or would you act like normal but yet mind the change in me?

What if i become penniless one day. Will i still have frenz who i call them 'frenz'?

'YES! YES! OF COURSE!' i heard the definite answer.

But i will never know.

I trust you. But will my trust in you be crashed?

Till then, i guess i would be able to check if our friendship is really that vulnerable.

This makes me think if frenz really are angels sent by God to look after us or to change us to someone we are not.

I know i will offend many out there. I may even hurt some. But self-reflections has showed that i would be too fake if i don't blog about this realization.

I'm convinced that many out there have thought of this before too.

Why don't blog?

Why is it that when I'm chatting with you, I feel like an heated arguement and so bloody hell wanna hang up the call?

Why is it that when i'm with you, i can't be the real me?

Why?

Sometimes i'd rather be a hermit.

Isolation at least permits me to stay the same and be who i am.