> Shrouded in darkness;

~~Saturday, July 31, 2004~~

7/31/2004 11:18:00 PM

Phew! Got a whole loads of stuffs to buy and do...
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swimfan's current wishlist **starting from the most impt**:

1. watch twins effect 2
2. jay's new album.. (this guy rawks and rawks BIG TIME!)
3. jerry's album
4. lol.. dun need to do OP presentation haha!! Im bad.. yeah.. swimfan is BAD.
5. Accounting test cancelled (i will be MOST happy if there's such announcement.)
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Wooh Hoo!! Im going crazy!! Falling in love with Jielun's 'Qi Li Xiang'!! Nice nice song!!Wanted to download another of his songs but im refraining myself from doing that. WHY? Cos its an insult not to buy his album!! Must be patient.. wait wait wait.. wait until the album is out next week. Patience is a good virtue. ^.^
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it was fun yesterday and today, having Celine in my house to study.. lol.. she studied but i din't.. not that im lazy (well a little ya).. but hello!! Accounting!! Yeahzzz... its ACCOUNTING!! How the hell can i study that?!! I hate numbers!! I HATE CALCULATIONS!! Aniwae, my house is lots more lively with Celine around.. yeah.. of course, we chit and chat, joke and crap.. but i realised that we are always talking about JJ and Yida.. lol.. comparing those two guys... okay, here is the result: JJ won!! **blows trumpet and sets fireworks into the sky**
Shared a spring chicken and slept at 4 in the morning..
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Today, i was taking my afternoon nap while Celine, well.. she's having her fun with the harry potter PC games with my sis.. haha!! before i knew it, the day yeah.. i mean today, is coming to an end and i accomplished nothing much.. yo hoo.. im so PROUD of myself. -.- ... ...
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YO YO YO GUYS!! Can you hear the blog song?? Its Jay's Qi Li Xiang!! Nice rite?? Pardon me.. im going real crazy now ;p
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harrr.... gotta teach tution tml.. cool, im in no mood for that. HATE TOO MANY THINGS!! A prime example is letter writing!! PLAIN ENGLISH!! EEKS.. How plain can life get as paralegals?! Yeahzzz Ms Ng's rite, many of us are BLISSFULLY IGNORANT of instructions. hmm.. but i DISAGREE.

But there's one thing she said that i AGREE TOTALLY!! - we guys are too smart to attend her lectures.. LOL..

I know again.. BAD BAD me.
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But i'm good too.. i did attend her lecture on Mon.. -->> But i was kicked out together with some.. no no.. i mean with lots other students. Cos we didn't bring the writing manual.. BUT HEY!! I got the info last minute ya.. **shrugs** NOT TOTALLY my fault. -.- ... ANIWAE WHO CARES?

But THAT'S ME.

I'M BAD.

But i WON'T ROT.
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The world needs peace so here im off.. bye!! :p

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Friday, July 30, 2004~~

7/30/2004 11:44:00 PM

the moment i stepped into the lcom lab, my mind was distorted into pieces and craps.. But the moment i stepped out, i felt free and peaceful...
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if you give me a chance to change something, i will change the way God created man. He should have given them an extra pair of ears and no mouth. Cos with reference to my encounters in life, people talk more than they listen.
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i always wonder how a real life barbie looks w/o make-up.. real-life barbies.. yeahzz.. there were loads in my school [not reeli pretty.. well.. just only all make-ups].. ya know.. those with thick powdery make ups where that thick coat of powder on thier face will crack if they ever make any attempts to smile. (-.-) .. i ain't bad but c'mon! i rather spend money on other stuffs than make-ups. The makes you look outta the world.
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Okay.. now as i'm super duper hyper unwilling to get my ass off the chair and tear my gaze of the PC, im gonna form a new resolution... yeah... swimfan's latest pieace of crap -- 'im gonna do anything i want (NOT at cost of hurting anyone) and ignore what others think of me.. :p
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i was supposed to be in the airport now but due to this once-in- a- lifetime and hard-to-come-by circumstances, im still at home. Hey, dread not.. my dear fren Celine's gonna join me in a matter of minutes.. yep.. the both of us will rock my room tonight!!
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Oh ya btw, did i tell you how a jerk one of my classmates is? Rather FREAKED OUT by how fake people can get. Guess i should enroll him in the oscar awards if im empowered to do so -.- Not tha its bothers me thou.. DUH!! Who am i kidding? It bothers me LOTS -.- Oh God, im trying to be as forgiving as possible.. i shouldn't bear grudges on anyone.. it does me no good to hate and loathe. Sorry Jesus.
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The bachelor has no looks.. he has fame, money and all the riches.. but too bad, i see no unique 'stuff' in his personality. All the best to the newly created couple thou.. i hereby send them my heartfelt blessings.
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my current favourist subject is APEL. Cos i needn't think much nor communicate much. Its time i keep my mouth shut.
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PLAIN ENGLISH!!-- If any living soul ever said that to me again, i gonna slam his/her face against the wall!
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'Those without the writing manual please leave the lecture hall now.' -- by the 'cutest' law lecturer of TP.
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I'm blessed to have such wonderful lecturers who chuck everything to students and push it all to PBL responsibilites that we students should check our work instead of them. Hello my dearest spore goverment!! If you're using PBL for our learning system, mind cutting down our skool fees? Well.. im kind enuff not to tell you to cut off the tutors' pay (since they do nothing much excpet saying "what do you think?" when students ask them questions.)
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swimfan signs off now... gotta open the door for celine soon.. *Peace

... seen through it and moved on.

7/30/2004 02:02:00 PM

I HATE skool
I HATE my grp
I HATE everyhting around me
I HATE L-Comm 2
I HATE legal writing
I HATE accounting
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And
I HATE myself
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And
EVERYONE HATES ME
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*Peace

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Wednesday, July 28, 2004~~

7/28/2004 11:00:00 PM

i find the urgent urge to let out all my emotions thru this bloggie..

i realise how strong the hatred he must have for me and i've found out how far to the extend he dislikes me althou he erased that with a smile on his face. i thanked God for letting me stumble across these stuffs so i wun be in the dark of everything. i got to learn that human are really born actors. they hate me for being this. they hate me for being that and hate me for many many things (but they never tell me). i realised that the more i tried to change about myself, the worst things get. But could things get any better if i stay the same?

i release and vent out all my feelings.. my happiness.. my sadness.. my anger.. my perspective of life and many other stuffs thru my stories.. sometimes come to think of it, isn't that a silly thing to do? No. Never. i stubbornly told myself. writing is something i will never give up but in life, should i give up or continue on when i can't even see the road ahead of me? its mist and unfriendly aura that encircles my life now.. but even if a fren drop by for a concern, swimfan just simply shrugs off the topic-- "im fine.. i need no help.. thanks for the concern."

i know i can never change what ppl think of me.. its too hard the effort to even try.. life is too short to live up to ppl's expectations.. its my life and i am who i am.. i tried changing myself but what was the use of changing urself when even you urself aren't convinced that you will become someone better after that? many happy things tt happened in a day doesn't reeli makes my day a jubilant one.. but yet, just one teeny weeny saddening stuff would be more than enuff to dampen my spirits for the day...

one conclusion i figured out:
swimfan is
1) useless
2) seriously lacking in confidence
3) needs a pillar of support
4) over-sensitive
5) needs tons of isolation from the cruel reality
6) laughing in front of ppl when she is actually crying inside
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....::::::: I want to be somebody out of myself and not a nobody:::::::.........

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Tuesday, July 27, 2004~~

7/27/2004 10:42:00 AM

Do you know that...

1) those girls who hates Jolin Tsai (I mean HATE, not dislike) are just plain jealous?
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2) those guys who detested F4 are just way envious of them?
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3) if you sneeze, your heart stops for a milli-second? (That's why ppl say 'bless you' whenever you sneeze)
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4) goldfishes lost their memory every 3 seconds? (That's why they always eat nonstop till they drop dead cos they forgotten that they had just eaten)
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5) you take more than 100 years to travel to any planet after mars?
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6) people love hearing good things and believes in good things ppl say about them (but they couldn't accept the bad ones)?
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7) people always remember the bad things about ppl and seldom remembers those good points about them?
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8) your greatest enemy is yourself? (Coz only you know your strengths, weaknesses and only you can change yourself)
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9) life is too short to live alone?
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10) people often take life for granted and only learnt the meaning of 'cherish' when they've lost it?
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11) if someone means alot to you, you should let them know? (Cos sometimes you only have one chance)
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12) a optimist lives longer and happier than a sadist?
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13) you would get diarrhoea if you consume the spagetti at TM pizza hut? (That's what Celine's fren kana)
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14) the new pepsi ad is very COOL?
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15) Simon Cowell is the most offensive but yet truthful judge?
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16) a leopard can never changes its spots?
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17) sharing is a wonderful thing? (It makes you feel that you're not alone)
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18) the worst thing in Earth is to be ignored, abandoned and left out?
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19) a true friend is someone who sings to you the song of the heart when you've forgotten?
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20) I have wasted my time on this blog when i am suppose to be doing my pre lab assigment now?!
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SHOOT!! GOTTA GO!! BUAIZ!!

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Monday, July 26, 2004~~

7/26/2004 10:38:00 AM

Woohoo!! Its been around 2 days since I last blog.. okie dokie.. gonna give a brief catch up of my life for the past few days.. Well.. its been rather happy time for me and yeap.. i finally got to meet most of my frenz!! :)
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July 23rd--

YO HOO!! I finally turned 18 tt day and i'm reeli glad during tt day of my life.. TP, or rather the world is very very small.. lol.. i bump into Celine in the toilet!! C'mon.. wat a coincidence.. lol.. soon after, the both of us went to the Pavillion to meet Veron and Joyce but then, we ran into Sri and Lynette too!! All my sec skool frenz!! Makes me think back those times in lyss.. reeli miss those innocent days and everyone of them.. im happy to see them and my day was a bonus when my student called and cancelled tution due to the racial harmony party in her skool.. COOL!! I'm loving it!!

At night, i celebrate my birthday with my family, my cousin and my Aunt.. Mom bought me a durian cake.. (^.^) ... come to recall, the last time i ever cut a cake was during my 16th bdae when Huimin bought a cake to class for my celebration.. kinda long ya.. lol.. i enjoyed myself tt day.. Oh my.. i forgot to mention tt during the morning when i wake up, i was greeted by sms birthday greetings from my frenz and i felt so warm in heart.. lol.. dunno how to describe ya... But still, thanks everyone!! :)

After cutting a cake, i dropped by my Grandma's house to give her some of the cake.. yep.. a pretty enjoyable day i've got...
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July 24th--

During the morning time, i attended the law seminar and oh man.. its damn boring.. lol.. i dun even have the slightest interest in it!! And cool.. no one.. entirely none were paying attention to the speaker.. haha!! After tt, some students sings national day songs on stage.. OMG!! Tt tamil girl reeli can't sing!! Not i bad or what but ppl ere booing at her and her tone is way off key le... (>.<).. i can feel goose bumps on my face when she sings.. i bet with you anything tt if simon cowell sees this... **close eyes** ... OMG... can' imagine what would have happened... And man,, ts girl still got the cheek to say -- "If you think you can do a better job, then come up the stage!!".. where got pl so BHB de?? *_* Okie.. enuff of her.. dun wanna waste my blog space..

During evening, i met up with Andelin first and we travelled to bugis together to meet Branda and Lester.. I'm so happy to see them.. Initially, i was worried of a communication breakdown since we hadn't meet up for months but my worries were all eased the moment we laughed, joked and crapped... everyone just cracks me up and i felt jubilant to be able to meet them up.. i also appreciate their time and company... THANKS SO MUCHIE FRENZ!!

We went to 'lai lai' beef noodle shop for dinner and at there, its very fun.. yeah.. FUN. ..Thats what i can use to describe the atmosphere.. Its so nice catching up with each other and we shared some 'weird' happenings in our skool.. lol.. ^.^

Then, we catch the movie 'Connie and Carla'.. at TM GV.. hmm.. tt show so-so lah.. no as funny as how i pictured it would be.. have fun in the cinema too.. cos the most impt is tt i get to meet up my frenz.. meeting up with Andelin, Branda & Lester makes me recall those tution days we have..

We actually planned to watch 'Windstruck' after the movie but yeah.. Lester disagreed.. Bo Bian.. we sent Andeline home and later Branda and Lester walked me home.. lol.. take photos outside my house some more ^.^ .. Buts its fun ya... (^.^)v... ...

Indeed, childhood and teenage life is such a wonderful process.. Now as i turned 18, im growing up.. stepping into the adult hood.. Hopefully i will still be able to kip in touch with all my frenz.. Everyone tt steps into my life makes a different me and makes me someone better..
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Okie.. that's all for now an hell man!! I mean.. COOL!! I saw Celine in the lab now.. just now morning bump into her in anothe lab.. WOAH!! 'Wo Men Zhen You Yuan'.. LOL..
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PS: Last thing.. Jay's 'Qi Li Xiang' very nice!! Im gonna buy the album and lol.. i learnt tt 'Qi Li Xiang' means chicken backside.. whaaahahahah!! He so strange de..

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Friday, July 23, 2004~~

7/23/2004 12:27:00 PM

Last time while i tried this test, i got nemo.. ut now as i did the second attempt, i got marlin.. change in my personality? im not sure thou...

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Thursday, July 22, 2004~~

7/22/2004 10:16:00 PM

another fruitless day. Honestly, i did nothing much today in skool.. all right, its damn boring so i guess i would just skip that.. dun wanna type up my crappy day.. >.<
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i was surfing the net and im so happy to stumble upon the pepsi ad!~! Ed, Jay & F4 look so cool in the ad!! Im so elated to watch it!!
http://pepsipromotion.opencreative.com/
Just go to this webbie and download the ad!! It so so so cool must watch ya!! ^.^ ...
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During my hospi research todae, i found out lots of fasinating stuffs about Europe and i had the urge to spend a long vacation there.. Alton Towers sounds so fun..
Okie Dokie.. hereby come up with a 5 definitions of happiness...

1) Sipping a mug of warm cocoa by the fire during one wintry season
2) a one week trip on super star virgo
3) living at a house near nature of new zealand.. surrounded by the green pastures with cool breeze encircling
4) a vacation to Gold Coast or Disneyland
5) sunbathing at the beach of Hawaii during summer

*-;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *-;-*

1) Have you ever smoked: Nope.. smoking kills..
2) What kind of shampoo do you use: i use watever my mum buys
3) What are you most scared of: horror movies.. its makes you think the scarier stuffs
4) What are you listening to right now: my blog's midi- 'kite & wind' by twins
5) What vehicle do you wish to have: i dun owe any transport
6) Who was the last person who called u: branda
7) Where do you want to get married: not sure but not now.. duh.. -.-
8) How many msn buddies do you have right now: Not many.. im isolated -.-
9) If could change one thing about yourself,what would it be?: More confidence.. less lazy genes..

**swimfan goes hyewire.. exhausted.. deadbeat.. low batt.. zapzzzz**

zzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzz (-.-) zzzzzzzzzz

... seen through it and moved on.

7/22/2004 12:01:00 AM

okie dokie.. shall make a short entry on this blog.. was absent from skool todae, went to the polyclinic early in the morning.. oh man.. its raining cats ans dogs.. luckily i didn't spent too much time as i expected.. practically slept the whole afternoon.. my mind is currently under maintenence and needs lots lots lots lots of rest.. once again looking forward to the weekends and hope this time round, it doesn't pass by fast.

Change the template again but still, i prefer the previous one cos twins looks cute but then, i reckon tt template isn't very user friendly.. too many things chucked onto one side.. i prefer those type with scroll bars to minimize everything up..

2 more weeks.. just 2 more weeks and here comes the 1 week vacation!! Looking forward to it badly.. ^.^ ... I NEED A BREAK!! i'm sure everyone must be feeling the same.. praying that it wun rain tml morning.. its hardest to get up from bed during rainy mornings.. the weird thing is that your bed appears so muchie comfortable in the morning tt makes you reluctant to wake up.. ;)

Okie.. got a 9am lecture tml.. shan't talk must now.. gotta zzzzzzzzzzz -.- ...

**Amazing Grace plays in the air**

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Tuesday, July 20, 2004~~

7/20/2004 12:21:00 PM

i am currently pissed off with my groups.. there's suppose to be a meeting today but none (except one) turn up!! more ever the one who says wants to meet.. the one who sets the time.. we all can't contact him.. what irresponsible group members i have!! >.< Now, i ahve so much time to spar b4 my crim pro tut starts..

in the midst of boredom, swimfan did the following stuffs...

E	Explosive
M	Mesmerizing
I	Innocent
L	Legendary
Y	Young
N	Nice

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Your Icecream Flavour is...Neopolitan!

You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK]

You are Cool!

You're pretty cool! People look at you and think.. 'wow.. that person is cool!' Congratulations. Use your position wisely and teach the dorks below you a thing or two. There's nothing like recruiting a cool person.

Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Im cool?? well.. dun think so lar...

All right.. tts all for now ba.. nothing much and nothing else to say...

Sign off. ^.^ ... ...

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Monday, July 19, 2004~~

7/19/2004 09:31:00 PM

swimfan is starting to slack heavier! i skipped accounting lecture today.. hee.. left skool earlier and the world outside is so muchie spacious when you are supposed to be in skool. The moment i stepped out of the compound, i felt so free and relax!! :)

and now im chatting with this dunno what fellow whom i just added in my msn contact.. tot he/she is one of my classmates or readers tts why add this peron but it seems like this irritating freak is making me mad. This person simply refuses to tell me his/her name... @#$%^&*#&* !! >.<**pissed off!!** im so damn annoyed by this person tt i spat that 4 letter word at this person!

-- after a minute or two... --

shoot.. now this idiot is shooting back at me.. well, who cares **waiting for the reply**

conversation between me and this 'dunno who':

dunno who: hi
swimfan: hi.. arr.. you are?
dunno who: you are fine.. mrs miss
swimfan: just who are you?
dunno who: yes i am here
swimfan: wat's your name? **thinks- do i know you?**
dunno who: hellow

[at this point of time, swimfan is getting pissed.. cos a stranger who just added her refuses to reveal his/her identity>.<]

swimfan: fuck you lah! dunno how to tok properly izzit? **angry face**
dunno who: icam also fuck you **2 angry faces**
swimfan: are you from tp? or are you my classmates or wat so ever? u're the one who added me isn't it? so can you pls tok properly? just who are you?
dunno who: ok.. i am live in america

[Obviously, this person is not answering swimfan's question...]

swimfan: well who cares.. im just off now.. reeli,.. if you cant tell me who you are, then i guess its rather hard to continue this but if im not mistake, you're frm winglin rite??
dunno who: ok. I dun care.
swimfan: AS IF I DO.. DUH!!

[swimfan close the conversation window and blocks this person]

The End..

See? how reasonable can ppl get these days.. **shakes head**...
--
Okie dokie.. my PC now like going to hang.. better sign off fast b4 its shuts down the internet explorer and there goes my blog if it does!!

Bye guys!! (^.^) ... ...

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Sunday, July 18, 2004~~

7/18/2004 07:43:00 PM

today, i learnt that life is too short to live. the sudden death of my cousin's mother made me realized how vulnerable life is. i must cherish everyone beside me be it they had made small or big differences in my life. Everyone that I know, be it my frenz, family or those whom im not very close with... all of them made a difference in me and makes a better me.

omg! my morning was greeted with a flu and now, i can't stop sneezing! -.- ... there seemed to be a big lump of thick liquid stuck in my throat and im dying to get tt out but to no avail.

not to what i expected, i spent the whole day.. yeah.. almost the whole day to do the crim pro report but still, i haven't completed it. i had learnt another lesson -- never do things at the last minute. But hey... im someone with no sense of urgency.. morever, under the stress of time limit, the productivity is double. i guess this rule applies to me so no matter what, its by my nature to do things the very last moment.

Accounting sux big time.. i hate tt subject and im the weakest with numbers..

.+.+.+.+.

swimfan is...
feeling: sick now ->- ...
dreading: skool tml (dunno why thou)
mad: at herself >.<
hating: SKOOL
hoping for: a long vacation to cruise ^.^
needing: more holidays
lacking: the 'talent' to manage time more efficiently
looking forward to : twins effect 2
trying: to be better
writing: about the pathetic life of this realistic world
dying: of stress
living: for the sake of her inspirations and ambitions
.
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swimfan thinks...
1) heelys are the silliest creation (am i saying that again **roll eyes**)
2) her group mates (some) are actually not bad after all..
3) she is a attitude problamactic nowadays
4) the world needs lots more love
5) the accounting lecturer's teaching skills should be improved
6) she needs more confidence -.-
7) life is full of Ups and doWns
8) a person would fight more for his interests than for his rights
9) that most people are selfish (even those closest to you)
10) that afterall, life is worth living bcz of hopes, dreams, apirations, love, family and frenz ^.^
.
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swimfan dare not...
1) spit at that irrtating ass >.<
2) tell off her fren for doing something wrong
3) watch horror movies
4) jump off the building

swimfan is...
1) paraniod
2) irritating
3) NOT silly but stupid
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Last but not least, swimfan is going to stop crapping now.
Therefore, bye.. **Leaves and slams the door shut.**

Peace. **radio starts playing amazing grace**

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Saturday, July 17, 2004~~

7/17/2004 11:58:00 AM

i am dying to watch twins effect 2!! Can't wait for it to show ya.. part 2 is a total different plot from part 1 but still, i think i would love it. (^.^ ) ...
i am totally crazy cos by rite, i should be tying my crim pro report which is due on mon but here i am, blogging non-stop. Twins are just so cute and entertaining.. i want to buy 'my explosive dad' to watch!! >.< ... bet its gonna be funny, nice and not to mention, ah-sa's so kawaii!! by the way guys, hv you all tried dou jiang you tiao?? must go makan cos its so sedap!!

btw forgot to mention.. i had changed the layout again.. anyway who cares? this time, im going for the theme of 'simplicity' so yep.. its kinda plain but i like it cos its not too complicated.. anione out there wanna watch 'sisters' ?? tt thailand horror movie.. well, let me just get this straight, -- dun torture your nerves and guts to watch tt kinda show ya.. instead, save up the money and donate it to NKF.. the needies would be very grateful to you..

The meesiam beside cheers station tampines mrt very nice.. you guys should go grab a bowl.. two dollars only.. Now for album... swimfan wholly advice those looking for a music album to buy JJ's 2nd album.. its worth the money.. if you buy le.. good for you **thumbs up**.. for those who haven't, what are you waiting for?! .. Dun downlaod music the the internet.. i mean not all!! **warns with a fist**.. ppl spend so long so many effort to produce quality music so must buy.. cannot download!! Im not bad but if you want to download songs, dwnld 5566 de.. haha!! cos they always change their album edition got many bullshits.. always change edition but the songs are still the same!! This is the kind tt want to earn $$ only so i suggest you guys dun fall into the trick.. >.<.. dunld ba but dun too 'guo fen' ..

... seen through it and moved on.

7/17/2004 12:56:00 AM

stupid! stupid! stupid! why am i so stupid?! only God knows why... **shrugs**...
5 things in this world people can't endure -- betrayal, bad news, broken hearts, lies and hypocrites.
Betrayal-- it hurts ya know when someone you trusted so much turned his/her back against you.
Bad news-- believe it ornot.. every living soul in this world loves to hear only the good side of things. Ironic. But true.
Broken hearts-- Time can never heal the wounds.. it only numbs the pain :(
Lies-- if you are lying, continue lying so my heart wun be shattered to learn that you're lying -.- ... ...
hypocrites -- GET OUT OF MY WAY! I dun need your fake concern nor do i need your artificial care!

Know what ppl? when i was young, my mom always told me to first, keep my word. Second, be responsible for what i did and third, never insult anyone unintentionally. So if i insult you, you can be bloody goddam sure i meant it. :<

Losers with no imagination say that if you start a new school, there has to be a first day. Who cares if it was the first day? **shrugs** i dunno wat the hell are wrong with these ppl.. HELLO??!! There's nothing such as 1st day of skool... if there is, then you can be sure there is this thing such as first day of my life eating in the skl canteen... first day of my life digging my nose in the first day of my skool lecture threatre... -.-

Pretty people do ugly things -- this is a perfect law of nature i had learnt through my times of growing up. Innocent face doesnt = innocent attitude. Get it? Behind that angelic smile is a devil's smirk. If i ever forget that theory for even a minute, there's always some good-looking assholes to remind me and there... i just saw one... puff!!

And c'mon adults!! YES, I MEAN ALL ADULTS!! LISTEN UP!! It's simply wrong to always order the kids to stop fighting There are times when one child is simply just defending his rights and damned well SHOULD be fighting!

As a child, i was a disaster.. i was slow in learning, dim-witted in absorbing and i feared skool.. it wasn't hatred i feel for skool. Instead, it was fear. The only talent i had during that time was making the adults angry such to the extend that i always earned lots of cane marks from them. Its pain but the harder you hit me, the tougher i will get on you. That's me when i was young. I was often seen as the outcast and perhaps i am till now. C'mon, i just gotta admit it ya. No point avoiding the truth. My stupidity was the main thing that distinguish me from other kids. It took me double the time any normal child would take to master the maths times table.

But now as i grew up, God granted me mercy. i was relieved that i wasn't that dim-witted child thou i still am stupid. i know people are looking down on me (even those im close with) but i dun wanna give a shit about it. I am who i am and im sure that if you're really my fren, you wun mind the way i talk, the way i dressed and the way my attitude is but yeah.. i appreciated those who correct my mistakes and makes a better me.

PS: This blog is not based on the objective of seeking attention. Scram if you think i am. swimfan just want to post a different blog. she is tired and sick of typing out her current life.. waste of space since nothing exciting happened this past few days.. even if there is, she dun wanna share. she wants to keep them in her heart. her best fren now is herself.. not that she's 'zhi lian' but to be true, she only trusts herself most now.

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Friday, July 09, 2004~~

7/09/2004 02:02:00 PM

in the midst of stress and insanity when my brain is currently under maintainence, here are some tests i have taken...

Which [Seven Dwarfs] are you?

Which [Charlie's Angels] characters are you?

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Thursday, July 08, 2004~~

7/08/2004 04:47:00 PM

Yr two sucks big time! Not that i wanna swear but it reeli sucks and you should come into my world of projects projects projects and you'll know how my life sucks :( ...

My group members all tt attitude kind. One ignorant. One slacker. One dominant. one quite friendly and one blur-sotong. TT blur-sotong is me... see.. what a wierd combination i've got! I absent myself from skool yesterday because i was too lazy to go... hate PBL.. now trying my very very best to like my grp members. I'm not saying i will love them.. must try to like first..

Kinda like my CDS tutorial earlier on.. learn a lot and i regretted not going to the lec yesterday. The lecturer is also my tutorial and bloody brillant to the way she teaches **claps** althou im a loner in my CDS class as i dunno anyone, i feel more comforatable than being with my law class. Be it i'm paraniod but i feel that i seem to be dfiting further and further apart from my frenz in my course. I am trying to construct more topics for our conversation instead of skool life and people. Frankly speaking, i dun reeli like to tok about ppl.. it can be fun to gossip a little but its kinda meaningless if that was the only content of the whole conversation. Certainly, i would want to chat more about life and future. But still, spending time with frenz, laughing together and doing things together are way FUN... now tt during tuts im in all diff grps frm my fren, its seems like we could chat during lecs only.

Think im gonna get kicked out of fictionized reviews soon cos it had been weeks since i last submitted a review.. -.- .. Not tt im lazy or what but time is too tight to review fanfics... Found a liking for JJ recently.. he's a talented guy i think he may be more famous than Ado in time to come.. when i've saved enuff, i will buy his 1st album!! (^.^ ) ... ... Had been wanting to eat dou jiang you tiao all these days... think i should go 201 for it one of these weekends morning...

... seen through it and moved on.

~~Thursday, July 01, 2004~~

7/01/2004 05:27:00 PM

Impossible. There are many things in the world that runs outside the context of possibleâ€¦ its impossible to travel to Pluto. Its impossible to live without air, food and shelter. Its impossible to hate someone when you actually loves them.. Things are impossible and itâ€™s often the impossible that makes the world imperfect. Yet at the same time, itâ€™s the impossible that creates a tinge of suspense and fantasies.

In reality, its impossible for one to teleport.. Yet, this impossibility widens the imaginations of people.. its makes them think of the what ifsâ€¦ what if I could teleport.. what if I could vanish from one place to anotherâ€¦

If reality isnâ€™t a prob, what would be the 3 things swimfanâ€™s goanna doâ€¦

1) Teleport
Yes. Teleporting is indeed the best skill of all to learn from.. save time, save energy and most importantly, provides you loads more sleeping time to replenish your vigor.. itâ€™s the most handy â€˜toolâ€™ for people with the tendency of oversleeping and for others who hates travelingâ€¦

2) Invisibility
With this ability, swimfan can pull a nasty teacherâ€™s hair w/o being seenâ€¦ swimfan can play pranks and jokesâ€¦

3) alrite.. thereâ€™s nothing elseâ€¦ im toking shit to release stressâ€¦

Things I like:
- Purple
- Comics
- Jay Chou

Things I love:
- writing
- writing

Things I dislike:
- fake ppl
- fake concern

Things I HATE:
- ignorance
- frenz shunning from me (cos im probably the worst shit)
- lies (it hurts)

One things Iâ€™m gonna change about myself
-Nothing. (Thereâ€™s nothing about anything I can change. God made me who I am. Not what I am.

My worst enemy:
- Myself. Yes, me, myself and nobody else. I must learn to control myself, my life.. and not for myself to control me. Get it?

... seen through it and moved on.