Instead of pursuing possessions, pursue peace, justice and love.
 Instead of buying things, build relationships.
 Instead of seeking more money, seek to minister to those around you.
 You won't believe the difference that kind of life will make.


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Sunday, April 04, 2004
4/04/2004 11:01:00 PM


Was actually planning to study during the weekends but out the the blue, I’ve got no mood to study so yep… there goes my wasted weekends. During Friday was the Access Online test and b4 that, I was pretty worried that I would fail but in the end, mi got an A!! I’m quite contented with myself (^.^)v…. nowadays will usually meet Joyce to go to skool together and I felt kinda good toking and being with her… All thanks to the TP bus service cos without it, we wun have met… lol!!

Time is reeli flying at a speedy rate… the weekends are over so fast and tml would be a new week… I have no much comments for the upcoming new week … would be happy enuff if I mange to survive… now, I’m getting a little better thou there are still other stuffs bothering me… I was all the while wondering if I would pull through the exams cos I’ve been slacking behind my studies…. I’ve lots of things to catch up… But now, I’m already planning what to do after the exams le…

Just saw that channel 8 is going to telecast MG2 and when I saw F4 on the TV, memories of that day when I went to chase F4 with my frenz came flashing back in my mind… I recalled that I was feeling so happy… Those days on secondary times… those days b4 I came TP were then most innocent and carefree one despite those stress… In here, I felt pressurized and the fakeness in people… Sometimes when they smile, it makes me wondered if they’re really smiling…. I can’t help but feel that there are people out there to attack me… to hurt me… I loathed this kinda feeling…

My care group is organizing the chalet but I think I wun go, just like last yr, I dint turn up too…. I’m not reeli close to my caregroup people but nevertheless, I wun take the initiative to try to click along with them….. Not close means not close… why make such the effort to try clicking on with them?? Sometimes, I rather be alone thou it can be quite scary to be lonely…

My sis was telling me today that sometimes when she see me, she think I quite pitiful… I was like… why? She was saying that I dun seem to have a purpose in life… I seem to be spending my days without a goal…. I started to think, what she say was correct… I could see that people around me have ambitions or at least, they have an idea what they want to achieve in life but for me, there’s none…

Perhaps, I knew what I want in life and I’ve a goal in life but yet, people’ll look down on me or perhaps mock me that I’m thinking too much… Till today, that incident still bothers me much… it makes me wonder if I could ever make it big in life. I’ve found what I want to achieve in my life. But I can’t find the path that ‘ll lead me to my goals… my life seemed to be blocked by thick walls, obstructing me from reaching my dreams…

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I reeli hate myself… but for now, I’m not going to care about what others though of me and what others wants me to be… I want to be who I am. Not what others expect me to be. I live for myself, not for the sake of what others wants me to do. I’ve learned that I should forgive and forget those people in the past that had hurt me be it intentional or unintentional. I always forgive but I wun forget. As for now, I would learn to forget.

Happiness is not how much things you have in life…. Rather, its how much you could forgive and forget unhappy things…

... seen through it and moved on.