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Thursday, February 05, 2004
2/05/2004 09:07:00 AM


Its suppose to be a happy day yesterday …its suppose to be a fulfilling day for me but yet, it ended up like shit… a terrible thing happened and right now, how I wish I could erase this off my mind or rather, not know of it…

Yesterday was the visit to the Parliament house. I kept on thinking I should be learning a lot of things and I had been trying to keep up with a cheerful mood behind my tired mind. But then, that thing happened… I had no idea how to type it out in words nor did I know how to explain coz it’s a long story… But of what I knew, I’m being called a racist by a guy from other class… He told everyone that was present and near him that I’m a racist and talk behind my back. Lots of the people who knew me heard it and many people who didn’t know me was there too. Thanks to him I’m ‘famous’ now…

An ex-classmate of mine asked if I have offended him before or not but I was like ‘what the… I didn’t even know his name and I didn’t even utter a word to him before… not even a hi’… … I was upset by this coz most of the people who went to the Parliament visit heard of the rumor and yep… rumors travel fast… I wanted to confront him and his girlfriend who was of the same class as me…

But then, Nuraini who told me of this, inform me not to confront him first for she is doing grp project with him.. Morever, one of my fren is doing project with Michelle (his gf)… I guess for now, I will just have to keep quiet. I reeli hope this is a misunderstanding.

Yesterday, I was sick and I was feeling moody because of this… Friends around me comforted me but still, I’m feeling terrible and lousy. Why? Why must the people I didn’t know backstab me? Had I done anything that offended them? I racked my brains but I just couldn’t think of one. I asked my close fren in TP if I’m reeli a racist. Noreen told me that if I’m one, I wouldn’t have mixed with the Malay friends of mine and in TP, most of my friends are Malays…

Yet, the other one told me izzit bcoz I seldom mix with the Chinese that’s why they misunderstood. But come on, why on Earth would I discriminate my own race? I have so many friends of the same race outside TP. Its just that in my class, I couldn’t really click well with the Chinese girls… And concluding that I am a racist just bcz of this is totally an unfair thing. I feel like bursting out and I feel so lousy now.

Many people who dunno me have a bad impression of me just because of that stupid guy whom I never knew. Yesterday, I really want to cry but I force myself not to. But yet, frenz who knew me believed me and they comfort me to forget this thing not worth my time. I want to forget but I couldn’t. Its so hard to… People kept on saying ‘cheer up’… ‘dun be sad’… ‘take it as nothing has happened’… but how can I do that when it has happened?

Today, I was feeling reeli sick that I didn’t want to go to skool… I hadn’t been feeling good physically and mentally since yesterday. How I wished things would get better and brighter… How I wish my frenz are with me now… they seemed so far away that I coulcn’t reach them but deep inside me, I know they care for me… Thanks my friends out there and yep.. take care…

... seen through it and moved on.